Got 'er Done- Part I

Early Saturday evening, my roommate, two guys from my section, and I climbed into a 1976 RV and headed to Martinsville, VA for a NASCAR weekend, courtesy of the Advanced Auto Parts 500. There were so many people that we met and moments to this weekend that a single blog entry will not suffice. I’ll start from the beginning and will include in parentheses the number of beers I had at that point:

The RV:

This RV was recently purchased by some friends of mine at a charity auction for the bargain price of $900. We get about ten feet from where we’d started when we heard a loud, scraping noise outside. Upon inspection, we realized that we were dragging a metal pipe that seemed to be attached to the water or sewage system. There was not enough time for a proper fix so we just removed the piece and were on our way. (1)

About an hour on the road, the RV started hurking, jerking, and making loud banging noises which meant we were running out of gas. Apparently, the gas gauge leaves a bit to be desired for accuracy. We switch the auxiliary tank and are able to coast into the nearest gas station, which for some odd reason, had two pool tables and three extras from Deliverance. (4)

Walmart Supercenter Store in Lynchburg, VA

Our next stop came at the Walmart in Lynchburg. We purchased two camping chairs, a dozen bottles of water, and a bucket to be used as a urinal since the RV bathroom does not flush. I’m beginning to wonder if removing that pipe back in Charlottesville was a good idea. (6)

Martinsville

We finally arrived in Martinsville at about 9:00 pm and found a large field filled with RV’s, tents and enough domestic beer and Camel lights to feed an army. The guy running the field said it was $60 for an RV but we agreed on $40 and had a home for the night. (8)

We fired up the BBQ and had a few burgers before venturing out to meet our neighbors. This is where the real fun began. (10)

The first group we hung out with were from Pittsburg. Five guys in their thirties, including Bob who was already passed out in a camping chair next to the bonfire. He would poke his face out from his hooded sweatshirt whenever one of his buddies screamed his name. (11)

At our second bonfire, we met four brothers from Ohio. Somebody was lighting off fireworks at a nearby field and every time something would explode, one of the brothers would scream “Git ‘er done!” This became our rallying cry for the night and the following day.

We then met a guy who was a huge Mark Martin fan who would giggle uncontrollably every time he said “Martin is going to win in Martinsville…hehehehehe.” (15)

In what was one of our brighter ideas of the weekend, we decided to check out the speedway at night. We stumbled to the main entrance and eventually found an open gate which allowed us into the grandstands. A maintenance worker warned us that there were about three hundred sheriffs patrolling the speedway and it might be a wise idea to leave. So we left, but not without me trying to start a golf cart parked in the concourse. (17)

On the walk back from the Speedway, I fell in a ditch and rolled my ankle as I am prone to do.

Just when we thought our night was over, we procured some firewood and were able to make a bonfire in our BBQ. Enjoying a night cap, a 55 year old woman and her 70 year old man, who was either her father, boyfriend, or pimp, stumbled towards our fire.

The woman, staggering back and forth and holding a big bottle of wine, said, “you boys got a corkscrew?”

My roommate, thinking she said quarter said, “I’ve got a quarter,” as he handed it to her.

She responded, “no not a quarter a corkscrew, but I will keep your quarter.”

“You boys wanna play butt darts?” she added before stumbling off into the darkness

Confused and a bit frightened we asked no follow up questions and went to sleep. (18) Seriously, what the hell is butt darts?